The Queen of England for the past 70 years died peacefully yesterday in her Scottish Castle at the age of 96 and it didn't have the impact that you might think. It reminded me of when Michael Jackson died. He was an iconic star who died and the world didn't skip a beat not even a synthesized down beat. It got me to thinking about the way to live life. So many people strive to be important. To wield clout and status, to matter. That places so much of life outside of oneself. Look at these two examples of people who gave their entire lives to people, for the sake of some sort of immortality I suppose. Is the sacrifice worth it?
The thought that came to me in my meditations today were first noting not feeling anything when the Queen died. The lack of energy shift or emotion was notable. When Princess Diana died there was a deep feeling of loss, there was an energy that moved. I felt it as did millions of others. We viscerally felt it. I had my own harrowing journey that day, which is a story that I will leave for another time. When I stepped off a plane in Long Beach, California and saw the screens, and heard the Princess died, it hurt. Not so much with the other The Queen or MJ. Which makes me wonder why? Why the difference?
The three main lessons I've learned are these.
First, there are only a few people who are really going to care if you are dead. Those are the people that you should care about in return. Don't sacrifice them for a greater love of the people that isn't truly there. It's vapors. Public attention and affection comes and goes and won't be there for long in the end when 'the next one' shows up.
Second, if you are going to be great. Be great by lifting others up not by self-serving gain. Diana was missed because she brought out something in all of us that was acceptance and love. It wasn't about her it was about what we as humanity could be. She reflected a utopic way of being to us, and we did our best to make her happy in getting as close as we could to it. That is a noble, beautiful, and lasting way to hold the power of public attention. When the time is spent securing power for power sake, or to indulge every twisted fantasy that comes to mind it's not worth the trouble of fighting to be loved.
Third, invest in self-validation. Looking to be validated and given sense of duty, purpose, and existence externally requires balance. Where there is value in being a service to your community. To be a creative force rather than a destructive one, is a way to live. It's iffy. It's iffy that you won't be left empty from giving and receiving no satisfaction from it. Not only satisfaction there are many noble souls that die forgotten and destitute being forgotten from all of the people they gave to when things got rough. Public love is fickle! Love for yourself is eternal. Only you are there for you all of the time. That's where focus should be.
Whether it is Queen Elizabeth II or any other great person of power their stories tend to be complex and complicated. Public opinion varies depending on who you talk to. When creating your own story you are the creator. Allow yourself to write your story doing the most with the environment you find yourself in. Learn to thrive in whatever status you find yourself in. Love your tribe and they will love you back. This is a far more satisfying way of life.
""I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something else – I can give my heart and my devotion to these old islands and to all the peoples of our brotherhood of nations."
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.
A big step towards success is developing 'forest thinking'. You've heard of "not seeing the forest for the trees". Meaning someone is so fixated on one tree they don't see what is happening in the forest around them which may be on fire for all they know because they aren't paying attention.
Sophia is a #momtrepreneur in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Anyone who has gone through a losing streak can understand the value of a win.
Even a small one. Sometimes just being in the green a few pennies is enough to feel a momentum shift like things are finally going in the right direction.
It's important to celebrate small wins in life. Depending on individual personality, some people may find it easy to celebrate themselves and harsher to see losses in a realistic way. On the other hand, there are people who are quick to criticize themselves for even the smallest of errors and slow to give equitable value and weight in celebration when things go well. Either of these extremes can lead to unsatisfactory outcomes over time. The importance is to tune into accurate reactions in relation to results in order to make the proper adjustments going forward. Wins must be celebrated. We want more of that. Document in a journal or a spreadsheet what worked in that case. Likewise, document what didn't work, and how you would do things differently now that you know what you know from experience.
It's important to give analysis the proper objectivity and perspective. It is an error to inject too much positivity or negativity in the analysis. It is important that the impact and outcomes can be seen accurately for appropriate follow up action and accountability.
For those that have difficulty taking the "W" know that this level of energy is important to fully feel and let flow in order to bring more of it to you. Energy attracts energy like it. Especially when working in particularly challenging fields or on challenging projects. The bread crumb trail of smaller wins becomes vital to feed the ambition and motivation to keep the effort going for the greater goals to be attained which may take much longer to accomplish.
So take time to fully appreciate and document the milestone wins. This will fuel the fire of action and stoke further ambitions to lead to greater success. It is as important as eating, resting, and exercise to keep the effort going.
Sophia is a #momtrepreneur in Scottdale, Arizona.
Sophia Tesch is a graduate of the Hugh Downs School of Human Communication at Arizona State University. Sophia is a community advocate. She lives in San Tan Valley, Arizona with her husband and children.